


Tonight I'm reaching out to the stars

by Sparklyfairymira (myonetruelove)



Series: Arkadia Prep [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22319275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myonetruelove/pseuds/Sparklyfairymira
Summary: Finally, she couldn’t take it any longer and she snapped her head around to look at him. “Stop looking at me! We’re fighting.”A smirk slid across his face as he continued to watch her. “But you look cute.”Fuck Bellamy Blake and his smooth mouth. Clarke felt herself flush before she nodded to him. “Thank you.”“You’re welcome.”Clarke rolled her eyes, he looked so proud of himself. “Now stop.” She went back to her drawing, but could still feel his eyes on her.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: Arkadia Prep [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606477
Comments: 2
Kudos: 96
Collections: Bellarke January Joy 2020





	Tonight I'm reaching out to the stars

**Author's Note:**

> So the quote in the summary was the fluff prompt that started this whole story, but it did not go fluffy at all. It doesn't help that I was listening to super angsty music. "Comatose" by Skillet was on repeat a lot so I'm sure that was part of the problem. Lol. I am super excited about this universe and will definitely be writing more. There's so much fun to be discovered in this particular world that I'm excited about. 
> 
> Warning - Echo is not nice in this story. No, I don't hate her character, but in this, she is kind of a bitch. So if you don't like that, please don't read.
> 
> This was written for Bellarke January Joy. Title is from "Alone in This Bed" by Framing Hanley. This is unbetaed because I am a procrastinator and if I have a due date I finish it the day of - always. Kudos and comments are appreciated.
> 
> Please check out the amazing [mood board](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/591462261244166174/668070540493455390/pixlr_20200118073240298.jpg) that Brooke made for me!

It was winter break at Arkadia Prep, better known to its students as Supernatural Prep. Most of the students were home for the holidays, but there were a handful of the high school students that either didn’t have a family to go home to, didn’t want to see their family, or whose family were too busy for their kids to come home.

Clarke Griffin was one of the latter. Her mom and new husband had decided that they should take their honeymoon over the holidays, obviously without her. Not that it bothered her, she was glad to not have to listen to her mother’s constant nagging. Plus it gave her time to draw and paint - if her roommate would leave her alone.

Clarke dropped her pencil, picking up the candy that Emori had thrown at her. “Seriously, Em?”

“You’re being so boring, Clarke. And I’m hungry.” Emori flashed her fangs at her. 

Emori, Clarke, and every other student at Arkadia Prep were supernaturals of some type or another. Emori was a vampire, Clarke a valkyrie.

“Can’t feed on me today. I’m not cleared until the day after tomorrow.” Clarke shrugged.

There were some species that had to feed on others, vampires being one of them. Any species that had to feed on someone else was required to volunteer for others to feed off of them, while other students were told that they could volunteer if they wanted, but it wasn’t a requirement. Clarke had signed up on day 1 of high school even before finding out that her roommate was a vampire. She knew that volunteers were the only way to keep those that had to feed away from humans. And that was kind of requirement of being part of the supernatural community - humans couldn’t know. The only exception to that was if a human was born to supernatural parents. It wasn’t common, but it did happen. Clarke’s friend Jasper was human and both of his parents were supernaturals. He didn’t seem to mind, as long as they let him stay at Arkadia. 

Any child that was born to at least one supernatural parent was required to attend Arkadia Prep. They were taught from an early age about their world and the abilities that any of them might be able to possess once they reached maturity. Maturity was reached at thirteen when they received their abilities, always at midnight on their birthdays. For those, like Jasper, that did not end up with any abilities they still remained at the school. It was still their world, especially considering the fact that they’d been raised in it for their whole lives. Many of them would end up married to a supernatural and even if they married a human, their children could still end up being supernatural.

“I know you can’t, Clarke.” Emori rolled her eyes. “But you could come with me and then we could get some actual food because I know for a fact that you haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

Clarke glanced out the window, realizing that the sun was setting. She had definitely skipped lunch. That happened sometimes when she got into the zone while drawing. She closed her sketch pad with a sigh before standing up and throwing on her jacket. “Yeah, I could eat.”

“Yeah, I could eat,” Emori mimicked as she rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what you would do without me.”

“Die. I would definitely die because I would forget to eat.” Clarke grinned as she slipped her arm through Emori’s and led her from the room. Both the cafeteria and the feeding area were in a central building that was surrounded by the dorms. The campus was massive and it always split the elementary, middle school, and high school-aged kids from one another. There were exceptions made for those that had a sibling, allowing them to be able to see their younger siblings multiple times a day. 

The girls lived on the second floor of their dorm building, as did all other juniors. There were four dorm buildings for the high school, two for the boys and two for the girls. Seniors always had the first-floor dorms, juniors on the second floor, sophomores the third floor, and freshmen were stuck clamoring up three flights of stairs to get to the fourth floor. 

  
  


When they opened the front door they were grateful for one another’s body heat as the cold, wintery air hit them. The school was tucked away in the mountains of the Northern US, far away from prying human eyes. This meant that it was freezing during the wintertime. The grounds were already covered in snow, though there was none falling at the moment, something that Clarke was grateful for. They walked as quickly as they could to the cafeteria, sighing in relief once the door was shut behind them and the warmth of the building enveloped them. They hung their jackets on the hooks just inside the door before heading up the stairs. 

The first floor of the building was the cafeteria where the regular food was served. The second floor housed the feeding area for vampires, succubuses, and incubuses. The werewolves also ate up there on the days of the full moon, because they had to eat raw meat and it wasn’t always easy for others to watch them tear into it. They had apparently tried having the werewolves in the cafeteria on days of the full moon when the school had first opened, but it had not gone well at all. The werewolves were territorial over the meat, getting into fights. And then there were the other supes who had gotten sick or passed out. It hadn’t lasted for more than one full moon before they had moved the feedings to the feeding rooms. 

Vampires, succubuses, and incubuses had to feed every other day, but donors were only able to donate every four days. It usually wasn’t too bad, because the facility members also volunteered for feedings. Unfortunately, over winter break there were fewer people to volunteer so anyone that stayed had to be willing to be fed from. 

“Wonder who’s on the menu for you today.” Clarke grinned before opening the door to the feeding area. “Maybe they’ll be hot.”

“Shut up, Griffin.” Emori pushed her and if it hadn’t been for Clarke’s own strength, she would’ve ended up on the floor.

“Emori, you know you’re not supposed to shove people. Rules and all.” Charmaine Diyoza’s voice was bored as she frowned at the girls from her spot behind the desk just inside the door. All of the students called her Diyoza at her insistence, though she had never explained it to any of them why she didn’t want the ‘Ms’ at the beginning of her name.

“Yeah, yeah.” Emori just grinned.

Clarke rounded the desk, hands lifted in permission. “Can I?”

“I don’t know what your obsession with my baby bump is Clarke, but sure. Go ahead.” Diyoza waved her hands towards her swollen stomach. She was eight months pregnant and more often than not would be found sitting with her feet propped up on something like she was now.

Clarke grinned. Diyoza tried to pretend like she hated all of the students and were annoyed by their presence, but she had been a great mentor to Clarke. Both she and Diyoza were valkyries, a species that was slowly dwindling. Valkyries could only be female and more often than not even the female children ended up with the father’s supernatural abilities instead of becoming a valkyrie.

“I just like seeing how the next valkyrie is feeling.” Clarke had been telling Diyoza that her daughter was going to be a valkyrie before Diyoza had realized that she was pregnant. Diyoza always scoffed at her, but Clarke knew that she was right. The little girl that Diyoza was growing inside of her called out to Clarke. She placed her hands on Diyoza’s stomach, closing her eyes. She grinned when she felt the kick right where her hand was. “Hi, Hope. How are you doing today?” Happiness washed over Clarke and she pulled back with a nod. “She’s very happy.”

Diyoza looked like she was fighting a grin. “You’re a special one aren’t you, Griffin?”

“She sure is.” Emori grinned as she leaned over the desk, not daring to touch the baby bump. Anyone else besides Clarke that tried to touch the bump was promptly put on their ass, student and facility alike. “Who do I have tonight?”

Diyoza picked up a clipboard, running her hand down the paper on it. “Looks like you have Bellamy Blake tonight. Lucky girl.”

Emori wrinkled her nose as she stood up. “Yeah, he’s not _my_ type.” She sent a knowing look at Clarke.

Clarke felt her face flush as she ran her hand along Diyoza’s stomach once more, choosing to ignore Emori. “Be good, Hope.” Her smile grew when she once again felt the happiness wash over her, entwined with love.

Diyoza grabbed her wrist before she could stand back up, “So if Bellamy Blake isn’t Emori’s type, does that mean he’s yours?”

Clarke pulled her arm from Diyoza’s grasp. “Seriously? Aren’t you a little old to be asking about high schooler’s types?”

“Aren’t you a little old to turn bright red when you have a crush?”

“Whatever.” Clarke spun on her heel, ignoring Diyoza and Emori’s laughter behind her. She was halfway down the hallway before she realized that Emori wasn’t behind her. “Seriously Emori?” She turned around, gesturing for the other girl to hurry up. “You were the one that said you were hungry.”

Emori was beside her in a flash, having used her vampire speed to catch up. She bumped her shoulder into Clarke’s. “You know we’re just giving you a hard time right? It’s only because we care.”

“I know.” Clarke pulled her friend into a one-armed hug before quickly releasing her. “What room?

“Last one on the right.” Clarke followed Emori as they headed towards the door, but they were stopped just short when someone stepped in front of them.

“Emori.” Echo stood before them.

“What do you want, Echo?” Emori asked with a sigh.

Echo glanced at Clarke for a moment before looking back to Emori. “I know you have Bellamy tonight, do you think we can switch? I switched with Raven so she and Murphy could feed off of one another.” Echo’s grin was predatory as she watched Emori for her reaction.

John Murphy, although no one besides Emori had ever been allowed to call him John, and Emori had dated for almost two years. He was a senior who was also a vampire. He had surprised all of his friends when he had offered to show Emori the ropes when she’d started her freshman year. They were dating less than a week later. They had decided at the beginning of this past summer that while they loved one another, they weren’t meant to be together. By the time they had returned to school Murphy was dating Raven Reyes, a fellow senior and a succubus. Echo was Raven’s roommate and didn’t seem to understand that Emori and Murphy only wanted the best for one another.

“That was nice of you, I guess.” Emori shrugged, knowing that Echo was trying to get a rise out of her. “What does that have to do with me?”

“Well, I have Finn.” Echo rolled her nose. “And I don’t really want to have sex with him.”

“Echo, you are aware that succubuses don’t actually have to have sex with someone to feed off of them, right?” Clarke rolled her eyes at the other girl. “You just need him to get off. Have him jerk off and then feed. You don’t even have to watch.”

“First of all, I wasn’t speaking to you, Clarke.” Echo looked down her nose at the shorter girl. “Second of all, I don’t want to do anything with that _demon_.”

“Well, that’s too bad, Echo. Because I know for a fact that Bellamy has requested to not be assigned to you for feeding.” Emori grinned up at her. “Since you decided to stalk him last year. It’s a little sad that you were so obsessed with a guy who went on one date with you during freshman year that you made sure to switch feeding partners as often as you could to get him until you finally convinced him to have sex with you. But that wasn’t enough, then you followed him around everywhere like a lost little puppy trying to get him to date you. Give it up, he doesn’t want you.”

Echo huffed. “That’s not at all what happened.”

“Funny, because that’s exactly what Bellamy said happened.” Emori pushed past the other girl. “Now leave me alone, I’m hungry.”

Clarke went to follow Emori but was stopped by Echo’s hand on her arm. “The two of you act like I’m so pathetic,” Echo hissed in her ear. “But at least I got Bellamy to sleep with me. He’ll never see you like that. That must really suck.”

Clarke stepped into the other girl’s space, using her body to push Echo away from her. “You don’t scare me. What you say doesn’t affect me, because _you_ mean nothing to me.” Without another word, Clarke followed Emori down the hall and into the room.

Which was a decision that she probably should’ve thought through a little bit more. Because sitting inside the room on the small bed was Bellamy, who she currently wasn’t speaking to. Clarke averted her eyes, though she could tell that he was looking at her.

“Hey, Emori.” Bellamy’s voice was gruff. “Clarke.”

Clarke sat down in the chair in one of the corners, pulling out her sketch pad, and ignoring Bellamy. Maybe if she was drawing she could continue to ignore his presence in the room. She put pencil to paper when out of the corner of her eye she saw Emori lift Bellamy’s wrist to her lips. She knew that it wouldn’t take long for Emori to feed, but she could feel Bellamy’s eyes on her and it was unnerving.

Finally, she couldn’t take it any longer and she snapped her head around to look at him. “Stop looking at me! We’re fighting.”

A smirk slid across his face as he continued to watch her. “But you look cute.”

Fuck Bellamy Blake and his smooth mouth. Clarke felt herself flush before she nodded to him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, he looked so proud of himself. “Now stop.” She went back to her drawing, but could still feel his eyes on her. 

Emori cleared her throat as she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. “Thanks, Bellamy.” She walked over to where Clarke was sitting. “I think that I’m going to go downstairs and get some food while you talk to Bellamy.”

“I’m not talking to Bellamy.” Clarke closed the sketchpad again, not sure why she had even opened it since she hadn’t drawn anything at all.

“Yeah, I figured that out.” Emori knocked her hand into Clarke’s forehead. “Stop being dumb and talk to the boy.” She gestured to where Bellamy was sitting on the bed, a frown on his face. “Look how sad and pathetic he looks when you’re mad at him.”

Clarke sighed. “Fine, I’ll be down in a few minutes. Will you get me something to eat too?”

“Yup, I’m on it.” And with that Emori was gone, closing the door behind them.

“What do you want, Bellamy?” Clarke leaned back in the chair as she watched him.

“I want you to stop being mad at me.” Bellamy stood up and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her. He paused for a moment before taking her hand in his. “I don’t like it when you’re mad at me.”

“Well, I don’t like feeling like an idiot.” Clarke tried to pull her hands from his, but he held tight.

“What are you talking about, Clarke? What did I do to make you feel like an idiot?” There was genuine confusion in his voice.

Clarke just laughed. “Roma?”

“What about Roma?” 

“She told everyone that you spent the night in her room and that you guys hooked up the other night.” Clarke closed her eyes to fight the tears.

“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s why you’re pissed about?” Bellamy laughed.

Clarke’s eyes popped open and she shoved Bellamy so that he fell on his ass. “Fuck you, Bell.” She grabbed her sketch pad and made to leave the room, but stopped short when Bellamy’s hand wrapped around her ankle.

“Princess, I did not sleep with Roma.” Bellamy lightly pulled on her pants so that she would look down at him. “I saw her grandmother’s death so I went to tell her about it. She tried to kiss me and I told her no because I was seeing someone. I only stayed so that she didn’t have to be alone.”

Bellamy was a banshee so he predicted deaths with his screams. His younger sister Octavia was a siren. They had two different fathers, but they had never met either of them. They had received their abilities from their mother’s side of the family. The Blakes were a weird family as their children could become banshees or sirens, but it was always males that became banshees and the females that became sirens. Bellamy was the only male banshee that Clarke had ever met. It was just another reason that he was special.

Clarke looked down at Bellamy as she tried to figure out if she could believe his words. She bit her lip before shaking her head. She wanted to believe him, but she wasn’t sure that she could. “And did you tell her _who_ you were seeing?”

Bellamy shook his head, looking down at the floor before clamoring to his feet. “I didn’t.”

“I can’t do this, Bell. You’ll always be my best friend, but we can’t be more if you aren’t willing to tell people. I deserve better than that.” Clarke spun around and ran from the room, refusing to let him see her cry. She heard him call out for her, but didn’t stop. She didn’t pause when Diyoza called out for her. She didn’t stop until she was clear of the front doors of the building. She walked around the corner before putting her back to the wall, sliding down it until she was seated on the cold, snowy ground as she recalled the events that had led to that day.

* * *

**_September_ **

They had been back at school for less than two weeks and Clarke was already over it. Thank God for Raven who had decided that they all needed a break and was hosting a party in her dorm that she shared with Echo. Both she and Emori were looking forward to being able to let loose for a night.

They waited until the room checks had been done and then they took off for the first floor. As they approached they heard no noise, which wasn’t surprising. The only way that they were able to get away with these parties was if a witch was invited and they would cast a dampening spell to keep the noise from escaping the room. Which was also an upside to dating a witch as Clarke had learned when she had dated Lexa. Sex was so much easier when you didn’t have to worry about others overhearing you.

They knocked on the door and a moment later it was opened an inch to reveal Raven. “Took you guys long enough. You’re the last ones here and we even have a freshman.” Raven laughed as she threw the door open, ushering them in. As soon as the door shut behind them they were able to hear the music and the voices of those there. “C’mon, let’s make sure that you know everyone.”

Clarke smiled at her friends, but there one was only one face that she didn’t recognize, though it looked familiar. She was a young girl with dark hair and beautiful green eyes, sitting beside Lincoln. Lincoln, who was obviously the one who had cast the dampening spell, seemed entranced by the other girl. She elbowed Raven lightly. “The only one I don’t recognize is her, but I feel like I should.”

Raven laughed, pulling her and Emori over. “Little Blake, meet Clarke and Emori. Girls, this is Bellamy’s little sister Octavia.”

Octavia stood up and threw her arms around Clarke. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Clarke, a little taken aback, lightly patted Octavia on the back. At least it made sense, she’d seen pictures of her in Bellamy’s room. It was her first year in high school and she knew that Bellamy had been stressing out about it. She looked around the room until she found him, glaring over at Octavia and Lincoln. “It’s nice to meet you too, Octavia.” Clarke gave her a small smile as she stepped back. “I need to go have a chat with your brother.”

Clarke made her way over, stopping to chat with people as she walked to the far corner where he sat in a chair, arms crossed over his chest. “Are you pouting?”

“No, I’m not fucking pouting. I’m pissed. Why would Raven invite my baby sister to a party that I was going to be at? Like I want her hanging around my friend.” He waved in her general direction. “Do you see her and Lincoln flirting? He’s a fucking senior. He’s way too old for her, but when I tried to say something about it to her, what did she do? Told me to fuck off. I am not ready for this.”

Clarke laughed as she took his face in her hands. “Why don’t you take a deep breath, Bell?” She waited until he followed her directions before dropping her hands. “Okay, now why don’t we focus on actually enjoying ourselves? Maybe forget about your sister for a little while?”

“Unlikely,” Bellamy muttered under his breath before forcing a smile for her sake. “Better?”

“Not even remotely.” Clarke shook her head, pulling a flask from her back pocket. “But this might help.”

“You are a goddess Clarke Griffin.” Bellamy grabbed the flash and took a long drink from it. “You always have good stuff.”

“That’s because I steal it from my rich mom.”

“Oh, that’s right. I knew there was a reason I kept you around.” Bellamy laughed as he pulled her into his lap. “Now tell me about how your week has been.”

They talked for a while until they heard Jasper yell out. “Time to play spin the bottle!”

“I can not play spin the bottle with my sister.” Bellamy moaned as he buried his head in Clarke’s shoulder. 

“Yes, you can.” Clarke handed him the flask. “Just drink more. Because you are playing spin the bottle with the rest of us.”

Bellamy just rolled his eyes as he took another drink. They were almost through her flask and Bellamy knew that he was definitely tipsy, which was where he needed to be to play spin the bottle with his sister. If it wasn’t for Clarke wanting him to play, he would have probably called it a night and headed back to his room, but he had a hard time telling Clarke no.

It wasn’t too bad at first. Raven and Echo were the first to kiss. He prayed that Echo would land on him and she didn’t so that wasn’t too bad. Bellamy was sure that Miller cheated when he landed on Monty and he definitely called Miller out on it. He looked away when Clarke and Octavia kissed because there was so much wrong with that picture and he didn’t even want to think about it. He was sure they were nearing the end of the game and no one had managed to land on him, which he was thankful for.

Only the bottle was now facing him and he hadn’t been paying attention. He had no idea who had spun it. He glanced at Clarke and saw panic written on her face. Shit, had Echo been the one spinning it?

“Oh get over it you two. Kiss already.” Murphy called from across the circle.

Oh. Clarke had spun the bottle. He could kiss Clarke. In fact, he had thought about kissing Clarke a lot. The panic on her face worried him a little, but it was just a game, right? He silently laughed at himself. No, kissing Clarke was definitely not a game to him. He cleared his throat. “You good.”

Clarke gave him a small smile, nodding. “Yeah.”

Bellamy cupped her face in his hand, smiling when she leaned into his touch. He took a breath before leaning over and brushing his lips across hers. He pulled back slightly to make sure that it was still okay and suddenly she was leaning into him, pulling his lips back to hers. 

Kissing Clarke was like heaven. He forgot that they were surrounded by their friends when she opened her mouth for him and he would’ve sworn he saw stars when his tongue slid across hers.

“Get a room!” Octavia’s voice was what broke them apart.

Both of them were breathing hard as Bellamy settled back into his spot, glancing over at Clarke out of the corner of his eye. He found her chewing on her lips, her eyes on her hands. He couldn’t help but wonder if she had felt what he had felt. Could she feel the same way that he did? With a sigh, he realized that wasn’t a conversation that they could have when they’d been drinking. They could talk about it another day. 

When he looked at the time he realized he really should get back to his room and get some sleep. “C’mon, O. I’m tired and there is no way that I’m leaving you here unsupervised.”

“What’s wrong, Blake? Afraid that we’re going to corrupt your little sister?” Murphy laughed.

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” He turned to look at Clarke. “Want me to walk you back to your room?”

Clarke shook her head, not meeting his eyes. “No, I’m going to wait for Emori and we’ll head up together.” 

Bellamy nodded, squeezing her hand before turning to his sister. “Let’s go.” 

Octavia rolled her eyes at him but went with him without any hassle. He walked her to her room in silence, his thoughts on that kiss the whole time.

* * *

_**October** _

Arkadia Prep had decided that it was a good idea to have their Halloween carnival two weeks before Halloween which Clarke found to be very annoying. Not that the carnival was earlier than it had been in previous years, but that they were still calling it a Halloween carnival. Why not just call it a Fall carnival? 

Clarke sighed as she sat down heavily onto her bed. If she was honest with herself her annoyance had nothing to do with the carnival. She just didn’t want to think about what was annoying her so she was finding other things to be annoyed about. 

“You ready Griff?” Emori burst out of the bathroom.

“I guess.” Clarke looked down at herself, realizing that she had put zero effort into how she looked. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a baggy hoodie that she was pretty sure had belonged to Bellamy at some point in time before she had taken it. 

She’d taken to wearing it a lot lately, a reminder of him since she was currently avoiding him. Well, she wasn’t entirely avoiding him. As long as they were in a group, it was fine. She had just been finding excuses to not spend any time alone with him. And they hadn’t had a real conversation since the kiss, but that was what Clarke was avoiding. She didn’t want him to tell her that it hadn’t meant anything to him - which he would.

“Cheer up, Clarke.” Emori pulled her from the bed, wrapping her in a hug. “I don’t know what’s been going on with you, but I hate seeing you like this.”

“Everything is fine, Em.” Clarke gave her a small smile. “Classes have just been kicking my ass. Now let’s go have some fun.”

They walked around the carnival for a few hours, Clarke making sure that Emori never left her. But eventually, it did happen when Emori had to use the bathroom and seconds after Emori had walked away, Clarke was kicking herself for not going with her.

“Clarke.” Bellamy loomed over her and he was _not_ happy.

“Hi, Bellamy.” Clarke gave him a quick smile before trying to dart around him to follow Emori towards the bathroom.

“Nope.” Bellamy grabbed her wrist, keeping her in front of him. “You are not getting out of this conversation, Griffin. What the hell is going on? Why are you avoiding me?”

“Avoiding you?” Clarke laughed, but it sounded fake even to her own ears. “Why would you think that?”

“Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen you more than twice a week since the party. And you have barely spoken to me.” Bellamy’s eyes softened. “I’ve missed you. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Jesus Bellamy!” Clarke jerked her arm away from him. “You couldn’t just let it go could you?” She laughed as she looked down at the ground, already feeling tears building. “We kissed and it meant something to me. I didn’t want to talk to you because I didn’t want to hear you tell me that it meant nothing to you.”

Bellamy’s finger slid under her chin, lifting it until her eyes meant his. “Sometimes you are so oblivious, Clarke.” He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “I honestly thought that it was the exact opposite. That it didn’t mean anything to you when it meant the world to me.”

Clarke struggled for a moment to understand what he was saying, but once she comprehended she threw herself into his arms. She couldn’t help the sobs that fell from her lips.

“Why are you crying?”

Clarke pulled back, looking up at him as she fought back the tears. “I just never thought that I’d hear you say that.”

Bellamy just smiled at her before leaning down to kiss her slowly. “Me neither,” his words were a whisper against her lips.

Clarke pulled away slowly, looking around. “I know this is going to sound dumb, but do you think we can _not_ tell everyone about this until we know what it is? They’ll just be all up in it and I don’t think I can deal with it.”

“Sure princess.” Bellamy threw his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. “Whatever you want.

* * *

_**November** _

It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and while many students had already headed home for the holidays there were still a few of them around. Clarke would be heading home the next day, taking her friends that couldn’t go home with her. Raven, Lincoln, Murphy, Bellamy, and Octavia would all be heading home with her. Echo, Emori, Monty, and Miller were heading out the next day as well to their respective homes.

So for tonight, they were gathered in Bellamy and Miller’s room for a small party. Someone Murphy had been able to pilfer a few bottles of vodka and tequila so they were all well on their way to being shit faced. And then somebody had the bright idea to play truth or date. Because that wasn’t asking for trouble.

Clarke sat next to Bellamy and the more she drank the harder it was to keep her hands to herself. The last month had been amazing between her and Bellamy. She was on her way to being in love with Bellamy Blake and that was a little scary, especially since she wasn’t sure that he felt the same way. But the way that he looked at her when they were alone, the way that he touched her even when they weren’t alone, and the way that he kissed her made her feel loved. She was hoping to have a conversation with him while they were at her house for the long weekend. She was ready to tell their friends and she hoped that he was too.

The game was fairly tame at first, as it usually was, and sometimes the dares were ridiculous. Like when Emori dared Murphy strip down to his boxer and wear her bra while he ran up and down the hallway for five minutes. 

Then it was Echo’s turn and she asked Bellamy, “Truth or dare?”

Bellamy’s response was quick. “Truth.” 

Clarke knew it was because she didn’t trust Echo to give him a dare that didn’t involve her in some shape or form. 

Echo’s smile was predatory as she turned to look at Clarke. “Do you have a thing for Clarke?”

“What?” Bellamy choked on his drink before shaking his head. “No, of course not.”

And it felt like Clarke’s heart was breaking as she turned to look at him. The look on his face said that it was a crazy idea, that he in no way found Clarke attractive. At the same time, it had been her idea to not tell their friends so it’s not like he was doing anything wrong, but Clarke knew that if she had been asked the same question she would’ve told the truth. She sighed as she let her eyes fall back to Echo who was looking at her triumphantly. Clarke just wanted to punch her in her pretty face. Instead, she finished her drink and tuned out the game. She would leave soon and Emori would stay so she could go back to the room and cry herself to sleep. That was exactly what she needed.

Because she had tuned out the game, she missed when Echo chose dare. Murphy grinned as he said, “I dare you to kiss someone in this room.”

Clarke felt sick as Echo turned to look at Bellamy. There was no question who she was going to kiss and there was no way that Clarke was going to stick around to watch it. She stood up abruptly. “Sorry guys, I’m not feeling great. I think I mixed my liquors. I’m going to head to bed.”

She didn’t stop when Emori called her name or when Bellamy tried to grab her ankle. She just had to get out of there.

The next morning she stayed in bed as late as she could since she had packed the day before. She jumped out of bed when the driver told her he’d be there in 15 minutes. She quickly sent a text to her friends to let them know. She threw on some clothes and grabbed her bag before heading downstairs. She found her friends hanging out in the lounge and before she could say anything to them she had a text from the driver letting her know he was there. 

“The car’s here!” Clarke spun on her heel and headed for the door, avoiding Bellamy’s eyes. She handed the driver her bag before climbing in the front seat. She almost had the door shut when a hand appeared, pulling it back open.

“Seriously Clarke? I tried texting you all night and this morning.” Bellamy’s voice was a harsh whisper as he glanced back at their friends who were getting their bags in the bag of the SUV.

“I was sleeping. I wasn’t feeling great.” She continued to face forward as she spoke to him. “And it’s kind of cold with the door open. I know you don’t have any _feelings_ for me, but maybe you could not let me be cold? That’d be great.”

Bellamy was shocked, his expression was clear. That allowed Clarke enough time to put him back and close the door. She spent most of the two-hour ride ignoring everyone else and sketching. It was the only way to get herself to not think of Bellamy. Bellamy who was sitting in the back seat of the SUV next to his sister and hadn’t said a word since they’d left campus.

Once they arrived at her childhood home both Abby and Marcus were there with hugs for everyone. They showed everyone to their rooms and Clarke headed to her own, claiming a headache. She had planned on taking a nap, but she couldn’t get her brain to turn off so she ended up just staring at the ceiling, lost in her own thoughts.

A soft knock pulled her attention to the door. “Yeah?”

Instead of anyone answering the door swung open to reveal Bellamy. Usually, he would ask her if he could come in, but this time he just came in and shut the door behind him. He stood there for a minute, just looking at her before sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything. She knew she was being childish, but he had hurt her.

“I’m sorry that I announced to everyone that I didn’t have feelings for you.” Bellamy shook his head. “Especially when it’s the furthest thing from the truth.” He stalked over to the bed, kneeling beside it as he took her hand in his. “I love you, Clarke.”

Clarke couldn’t speak for a moment, just staring at him. Then she smiled. “I love you too, Bell.”

  
  


Bellamy clamored onto the bed beside her, kissing her sweetly. The kisses quickly turned passionate as they often did with teenagers causing Bellamy to pull back. “We should probably head downstairs.”

Clarke shook her head. “I love you Bellamy and I’m ready.” She sat up and pulled her shirt over her head, laughing at the look on Bellamy’s face. “Please?”

Instead of answering Bellamy just leaned down and kissed her. 

Afterward, they laid in the bed, Clarke lying on Bellamy’s chest and his arms around her. “We need to tell our friends, Bell.”

Bellamy nodded before sighing. “I know we do, but they’re going to be such pains about it. Can we at least wait until after this weekend?”

Clarke nodded. “Probably a good call. Otherwise, we’d have to explain to my parents about why our friends were being such idiots.”

Bellamy laughed as he leaned down to kiss her and Clarke couldn’t remember a time she had been happier.

* * *

_**December** _

Clarke and Bellamy had decided against telling their friends about their relationship when they’d first gotten back from Thanksgiving break because Raven and Murphy had a huge fight. They figured it wasn’t the best time. Now it was two days before winter break was starting and they still hadn’t told them. That wasn’t sitting well with Clarke which was why she was on her way to Bellamy’s room. 

Bellamy’s door was cracked open and she could hear voices drifting out. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, she had honestly just wanted to know who was in there before she announced herself.

“I still can’t believe that you’ve had not one, but two relationships in the last few years.” Bellamy laughed.

“Look here, not all of us are like you. Some of us enjoy being in relationships. Unlike Mr. Bellamy Blake here who dumps them as soon as he gets in their pants.” Murphy’s voice was teasing.

“Oh come on, I’m not that bad.”

“Yeah, you are. You’ve never been in a real relationship. The middle school week-long relationships don’t count. Just face it, you’re not made for relationships.” Murphy’s voice had lost it’s teasing edge.

Bellamy was silent for a moment. “You’re probably right. I should just stick to what I know. Sleep with them and then leave them, right?”

“You don’t have to sound so grumpy about it man. I admit that I’m jealous that I can’t do it.”

Clarke felt tears filling her eyes as she stepped away from the room. She was an idiot. She knew Bellamy didn’t do relationships and yet somehow she’d let herself get into this situation. She hurried back to her dorm, desperate to get to her room where she could be alone and just cry about her own stupidity. 

But once she reached the dorm there was a group of senior girls standing just inside the door so Clarke forced the tears from her eyes. She tried to sneak past, but they were blocking the door.

“I’m telling you I had the best night last night.” Roma was grinning as she looked at her friends. 

“Oh yeah? And why is that?” One of the other girls asked. Clarke knew that she should know the girl’s name, but she couldn’t recall it.

“Well, Bellamy came to my room last night.”

“And?” The girl’s eyes were raised expectantly.

“Well he was there all night so what do you think happened?” Roma laughed and then noticed Clarke. “Oh hey, Clarke. Sorry that we’re blocking the door. C’mon girls, let’s let her through.”

Clarke tried to smile, but she was sure that it was more of a grimace. “Thanks,” she whispered as the girls moved out of her way and she rushed up to her room. 

She barely made it in the door before the tears started. She slid down her door, pulling her knees to her chest as she sobbed. Now she knew why Bellamy hadn’t been answering her texts the night before. He had been with Roma. She didn’t need any other confirmation that she was an idiot. She just had never thought that Bellamy would treat his best friend like this. Had she ever meant anything to him?

* * *

Clarke sighed as she wiped away her tears, shivering because like an idiot she’d gone outside without her coat. She should’ve known what she was getting into with Bellamy. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been friends with Bellamy since they were young and best friends for the last three years. She knew how he was. She just hadn’t thought that he would be that way with her. Well, fuck him. She didn’t need any man or woman to make her happy. If he wanted to lose her friendship then he wasn’t worth her time. Because she could admit to herself that even though she’d told Bellamy that he would always be her best friend, she knew that she couldn’t be around him right now. Maybe that would change after more time had passed, but she was so angry and so hurt right now that she wasn’t sure what would happen if they tried to hang out. At least not just the two of them, with their friends as buffers she could probably dampen down on those feelings for a few hours. But only because her friends would question what was wrong with her if she didn’t and since they didn’t know about her and Bellamy, it would be kind of hard to explain.

She stood with a new determination before marching back into the building. She found Emori sitting with their group and she shot them all a smile before sliding in between Miller and Emori. “Thanks for getting my food, Em. I’m starving.” 

“Where were you?” Emori asked as she watched Clarke shovel food in her mouth. “Bellamy was looking for you so I know you weren’t with him this whole time.”

Clarke shrugged. “I went for a walk. Decided I wasn’t quite hungry enough to eat yet and I knew that Lincoln would be sure to keep the food warm until I got here.” She sent Lincoln a smile.

Lincoln, in turn, sent her a slight nod. Lincoln didn’t speak a lot when they were in a large group, but he and Clarke were good friends. They both had a love of the arts and could talk for hours about their favorite medium. As usual, he was sitting next to Octavia who he had been dating since the beginning of the year, much to the annoyance of Bellamy. He thought that his freshman sister shouldn’t be dating at all, let alone a senior that was his own age. Octavia had pretty much just told him that he could go fuck himself, he wasn’t her dad and couldn’t tell her who she could or couldn’t date. It had been a huge blowout between the two and they hadn’t spoken for over a month.

“So what did you do to poor Bellamy to make him look like a lost puppy?” Murphy raised his eyebrows as he threw a piece of his roll at her.

Clarke rolled her eyes as she threw the piece of roll back at Murphy. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Her voice was snarky as it often was when she spoke to Murphy.

“Ummm, yeah, that’s why I asked. So are you going to - ow.” Murphy rubbed his side where Raven had just elbowed him. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Mind your business.” Raven rolled her eyes as she turned back to Clarke. “We were talking about sneaking out to the woods tonight. Diyoza is on duty so we all know she won’t care. You in? The wonder twins made the strawberry moonshine.” She nodded towards Jasper and Monty who sat next to one another.

“Mmmmm, that one is my favorite,” Clarke hummed. “Sure, why the hell not?”

“That’s my girl!” Raven grinned at her before turning back to Echo who was asking her a question.

Clarke sighed quietly as she finished up her food. She knew that Bellamy would be there tonight, but really what other choice did she have? She might as well get used to being around him now. And if he tried to talk to her she could always just knock him out. It’s not like he had supernatural strength like her. She nodded to herself. That sounded like a great plan.

* * *

That night Emori and Clarke were the last to arrive as usual. Diyoza had caught them sneaking out and laughed at them before telling them to get out of there. The two had hurried out giggling because of course they got caught. The party was already well underway when they walked out into the clearing in the woods.

Clarke saw Bellamy standing with Miller and Murphy, but quickly averted her eyes and headed over to where Raven sat next to the fire with Monty, Jasper, Octavia, and Lincoln.

“Clarke!” All of her friends called out to her as she sat next to Raven. 

Clarke gave them a small smile as she took the offered cup from Raven. She took a large drink while everyone cheered. It burned as it went down because Monty and Jasper’s moonshine was probably the strongest thing she’d ever had in her life. She grinned at the strawberry aftertaste. “So much better than the first batch of moonshine you guys made.”

Jasper and Monty had been working on their moonshine recipe since their freshman year and the first batch had tasted like gasoline. They slowly started working on flavors and strawberry was a crowd favorite. It wasn’t any weaker than that first batch had been, but it went down a hell of a lot easier. 

Clarke’s next drink was smaller. She didn’t need to be wasted right away, but when she felt eyes on her she took a bigger drink. Without looking, she knew that it was Bellamy. She didn’t understand why he couldn’t just leave her alone. She obviously meant nothing to him so why was he trying so damn hard? It was driving her crazy. She just wanted to forget all about it and him. 

Clarke kept her eyes focused on the group around the campfire, trying her best to forget about Bellamy. It must have worked for a short while because she didn’t notice when he took Raven’s spot on the log next to her after going to she went to sit with Murphy. 

“Clarke,” Bellamy whispered, suddenly close.

Clarke tried to stand up, but his hand wrapped around her and tried to pull her back down. She ripped herself away from him, staring down at him. “Why can’t you leave me alone.”

“Because I’m in love with you Clarke.” Bellamy’s words were no longer whispered as he stood up to face her and their friends all fell silent. “I’m sorry that you thought I was ashamed of what we had. I was scared. I’ve been in love with you for years and I was afraid that once everyone found out they’d scare you off. I don’t know. I’m just scared to death.”

Clarke met his eyes and saw the love shining in them. She believed him and he had definitely just told all of their friends, which while mildly embarrassing was all that she had wanted. She threw herself into his arms, lips meeting his urgently. “I love you, too,” she told him once they broke apart.

“Thank the fucking Gods.” Raven sighed. 

“Bellarke is real?” Jasper’s voice was pitched higher than usual and he sounded kind of choked up. “My year is made.”

“Okay, you owe me $20, Miller.” Murphy crowed.

Bellamy laughed as he shook his head before leaning his forehead against hers. “We need new friends.”

“No shit.” Clarke laughed.

“You want to get out of here?” Bellamy gave her a small smile.

“More than anything.” Clarke leaned up to place another quick kiss on his lips before pulling away. “You guys all suck. We’re leaving.”

They ignored their friends calling out to them as Bellamy wrapped his arm around Clarke, pulling her into his side. They didn’t make it far before Bellamy had her pinned against a tree, kissing her urgently. It was so much better without their friends watching.

Bellamy was breathless when he pulled back. “In case I wasn’t clear, I want you to be my girlfriend.”

Clarke smiled. “I _guess_ I could put up with you being my boyfriend.”

“Well thank goodness for that.” When Bellamy kissed her this time it was gentle and she let herself get lost in it.

She felt whole again and she knew that Bellamy was meant for her and she was meant for him. Their lives might not be easy, but at least they had one another.

  
  



End file.
